margaret_walsh: (Teacher)
Na Gurnaidh has looked somewhat different every time I have seen it. This time there were rolling hills covered by scrub growth of various colours, much of it forty shades of yellow. I found it ... unpleasant.

The place claims to be a dragon breeding facility. While large dinosaurians might not be the first line of defence in such a place, using specimens that have been miniaturized by neutering, and, above all, the mutated chickens that they call the Dreagancirc - that shows an almost alien degree of lateral thinking.

That scrub could hide almost anything, in places.

There have been a number of confirmed casualties; the exact figure escapes me. However, at the moment a considerable number are missing in action. I would not have expected the smaller HSTs to leave no traces of their victims.

However, I have had an unpleasant journey at the end of a very long day. I should sleep while my body clock adapts.

I suppose I cannot avoid recording further. There must be some way to object to a device that records one's subvocalizations, in effect a thought-recorder, being trialed on an officer. The Vclar may well be unconstitutional, although it least it does not broadcast what it records - or so I was told.

The thing is so small that it is supposedly lodged in or near the ear, touching the jaw muscles and recording only those thoughts that are subvocalised. I assume that recorded material is collected when it is removed. I cannot ascertain precisely where it is and cannot quite perceive how something so small could store data.
...............................................

Recorded material; I don't like any part of this mission. I don't like the damned Vclar, I don't like the place. I don't like their wretched chickenoids - they are not chickens; the brute that was in our custody was tested as comprehensibly as possible. "Dalma Dreagancirc" laid no eggs before it escaped. Normal hens lay eggs every day or two, and output appears to depend on diet rather than fertilisation.

That creature actually had higher semi-reptilian traces in its DNA than any recorded bird and a higher level of testosterone than usual in any female creature. (Note to self; do chickens undergo menopause?)

For some reason I keep remembering the characteristics of a cockatrice. They are supposed to be born of an egg laid by a rooster, a
cock chicken, they are then incubated by a snake in the warmth of a dunghill. (Some books state that they are pathologically aggressive. I remember joking that, if so, they are probably motivated to attack by envy and embarrassment, unless their aggression is caused by being brought up in such a very dysfunctional family.)

Why would they be aggressive? In point of fact, since their gaze turns the creatures observed to stone the process would seem to be involuntary.

Interesting - they would have to be vegetarian, of course. (Fruit? Photosynthesis?? Or .. wait a minute; would they have digestive processes that break down stone into digestible forms?) How would they breed? Perhaps they can only be produced by the rooster-egg method, but why would a snake incubate ...? Snakes eat eggs. Snakes eat any eggs but their own ...

I heard that hinnies are useless, but mules ... Miles to go before I .... can hardly ask the soldiers to look for statues ... bad dreams lead to a hard bed ... no ... made it and must lie in ... officers lie... duty ... is ... a hard bed ... Pillow has lumps...

.............................

Dragons The barriers between the worlds have twisted/lifted/fallen/drifted/turned diffuse and turned dreams loose and fever dreams and so it seems and ...

Dragons are in the stories of almost every culture; their telepathic abilities are well known - notorious in some cases.

Nevertheless, some communications require a carrier wave, and the static set up by the Vclar was annoying to most of the dragons within range. That was easily solved by a pulse of energy that shifted the wavelength to a band that they could hear only by choice (and the Vclar ceased to broadcast to any human agency.)

However, minds still listened. Only the Rock Dragons could coexist with cockatrice and now this strange message suggested that even they could be at risk. (There had always been draconic legends about the origins of the Rocks. Just legends. Stories that hatchlings used to frighten each other - but even the heaviest of the Rockers had wings, and some dreamed of flying and grieved their loss of flight.)

Humans dread monsters under the bed. Hatchlings have ... other fears. Some of the dragons were listening to the Vclar with increasing attention.
margaret_walsh: (Teacher)
There have been peculiar phenomena for some time. Several of the HSTs have been interrogated but much of what they say has a supernatural slant that did not encourage us to record it as useful data.

However, despite all the babble of Keys, "operatives" that should have been summoned, sacrifices, blood and the first-born and so forth, one oddly consistent factor is the claim that the barriers between the dimensions have fallen and/or that there are intrusions from other worlds. It gives the impression that very disparate HSTs may be members of the same religion - or possibly that they have all attended classes in quantum physics, with varying degrees of comprehension.

It seemed unlikely to be in our remit until the general decided that reports from the area of the Na Gurnaidh faculty were a matter of concern. He had already deployed two units and has now decided to send in a third, plus a number of what he described as,
"Your brightest Wonderkids" to both serve on active duty and to collect and analyse data. I have been seconded with them, as an observer. Apparently there have been reports of dinosaurs and at least one Paleontologist may also be involved in investigations.

Off the record. Firewalled

It would be Na Gurnaidh - as if this year hasn't been bad enough! I have reviewed the records relating to the place. I suppose I hoped that my memory had tricked me, or even that I had somehow conflated the details with the plot of a comedy-horror film or something of the kind.

In fact, the history of contact with Na Gurnaidh is even worse than I had remembered. Possibly I had repressed some of the details. There would be nothing to be ashamed of in that. We all do it, especially when faced with the incredible - and, frankly much of that file is not believable.

I had remembered the disappearance of Agent Frobisher, of course. I had to write to his family (and, apropos of that, it could be very difficult if he should reappear from one of these rumoured "dimensional portals". Embarrassing, at the least. I think I claimed that his painless and heroic death in combat had been witnessed by his unit - I can't find the pages referring to that aspect.

However, the files do contain a detailed account of our inability to keep a HST from Na Gurniadh in custody, in spite of the fact that it appeared to be an ordinary chicken.

I am now on my way to this putative "Dragon Breeding Facility" myself. I do not normally serve in areas where combat is actually taking place, but I suppose it may be a step toward promotion. By hindsight, it may be unfortunate that I had included Murphy with the third
group of agents deployed there. If he is to watch my back I think I would prefer him not to be holding a weapon while he does so.

I wonder who is actually behind the Na Gurnaidh faculty? The DNA results on that "chicken" do imply... It would be interesting to run a full battery of tests on this Master Ki.
margaret_walsh: (nights like this)
Agent Gates made a fascinating find down by the Fish Tank Bar. A youth had two tiny creatures that looked very like the illustrations of Lovecraft's Cthulhu! Gates claimed that he bought them rather than simply requisitioned them, of course. I hope that was the truth. We are a classified project and he is often rather too militaristic.
margaret_walsh: (Agent)
Hello, is there anyone there?


anyone except whatever is ...making ...that ... sound...
margaret_walsh: (Agent)
I don't think my phone is working. If it was I might be able to use it to get out of here.

I must have walked for miles. The building isn't this big.

I keep hearing things but ... this damn fog...

I ought to be able to get this phone working ...
margaret_walsh: (she's around)
According to Agent Murphy, Agent Frobisher reported from that Na Gurnaidh place by cell-phone, the message came later then we had expected. Murphy claims that he recorded what he could. Na Gurnaidh is oddly placed, spacially. It should not have been a surprise that the quality of the message is so bad.

Agent Frobisher had little difficulty in gaining entry to the place but then found that the area he had accessed was full of some kind of white mist. The only thing he could be sure of was that it was not steam - or rather, that it was not warm and there seemed to be little or no condensation.

We then had to piece events together from a kind of running commentry by the agent as events took place. There seemed to be a voice calling for help. Frobisher stated that he was following the sound and he was entering a different part of the building; then there were a series of crashes. Frobisher swore quite loudly and then there were more thumps.

At this point I am uncertain why he stunned an employee of Na Gurnaidh and whether he did so deliberately. However, he then grunted and commented as he lifted the man into a chair and taped his wrists and hands to the arms of the chair in a standard restrainer hold.

At that point the man apparently started to stir. Frobisher put a strip of tape over the man's eyes so that he would be not recognised if the mist cleared. I would have questioned why he had not done so already, but it was clear that the mist was so thick that he had to grope to find the face.

I am unsure whether he also taped the mouth. At that point Agent Frobisher apparently dropped the tape. He was groping for it and then - a male voice cried out and there was a hissing growl (or possibly the sound of an office chair grating across a floor; it is better not to be too imaginative.) There were a few unidentifiable thumps and then the phone fell, or possibly something struck it.

There is nothing else on the tape that is worth transcribing.

I wonder who is actually behind the Na Gurnaidh faculty? The DNA results on that "chicken" do imply...

Classified
margaret_walsh: (nights like this)
This facility is set up to contain the most intimidating of Hostile Sub-Terrestrials. We have been able to restrain HSTs of all kinds while we carried out what procedures we thought necessary.

I have always hesitated to de-classify the laboratory notes documenting the series of events that took place when we failed to keep custody of what appeared to be an ordinary chicken. Dalma DreaganCirc appears to be an undistinguished white hen with feather-mites - and with a temper so savage that we checked her for some kind of demonic influences before deciding that her characteristics were, unfortunately, all hers.

We had collected the two chicken-like HSTs known, respectively, as Dana DreaganCirc and Dalma DreaganCirc from a notorious “Dragon-breeding faculty” in Scotland. (This had been reported on suspicion of breeding or hosting the more common HSTs, of course. Dragons are not usually suspected during HST infestations.) We intended to take samples of all their stock. However, it is the chickens that concern us now.

Dalma DreaganCirc bore a name-tag confirming her identity. The other bird had no tag or distinguishing marks. (This would have raised some questions about whether the second bird, putatively Dana DreaganCirc, was really the intended target, but we had used a small subterfuge to obtain the HSTs, claiming to be collecting them for the owner. Staff at the facility could therefore be expected to give us the correct specimens.

(Agent Murphy has since suggested that only Dalma wore a name-tag in order to give their staff warning of which bird was approaching them in time for them to ready a tranquillizer gun or a net. This may well be the case. Dalma was, in fact, more dangerous than one might expect a HST of that kind to be – and it is not easy to inform the army that members of an elite unit have been injured by a chicken.)

However, I should remember that my purpose is to summarize. During our investigations we discovered that Dalma was considerably more intelligent than the other HST. Her performance in a Skinner Box was greatly enhanced when we replaced the rewards with O-neg carnivore-kibble.

Nobody admits to having given her the keyboard. However, this is standard practice when dealing with HSTs of a certain IQ range.

The creature proved to be able to recognize letters and to make herself understood in print; communications about, “Give me more liver” or “Get that giggling twerp out of here.” could, of course, be the product of Agent Murphy’s sense of humor, but they were reported by several agents. Gates has no detectable sense of humor and, according to the records, the creature communicated with him at some length.

From that point – some confusion has arisen over what took place. I suspect that Agent Murphy gave her the cell-phone but he claims that it was left in the cage accidently. I was unaware of that, at the time. My orders were misunderstood.

Electric shocks were given through the floor of the cage to motivate the HST to co-operate with us and, according to Murphy, the HST then changed into a larger beast, a quadruped – and it then made its escape wearing part of the cage and with Murphy’s cell-phone tangled into the wreckage. We were quite unable to trace the creature further than the border of our own property.

It seems possible that it returned to the breeding faculty and there is a major danger in keeping any HST with Dalma DreaganCirc’s DNA with certain reptiles, especially since the establishment is not as technically advanced as the Initiative Laboratory and their stock may well be “mucked out” in the traditional sense.

While it is tempting, very tempting, to send Agent Murphy to look for a homicidal chicken and to search any dung-heaps for dangerous eggs, I do feel that his sense of humor would be a handicap. The flu epidemic has left us shorthanded and I am therefore sending Agent Frobisher. He is inexperienced but, under the circumstances, his lack of imagination might prove to be a positive factor.
margaret_walsh: (Default)
I have just received forms querying expenses on DVDs in the past year.

Sometimes I despair of the penpushers' mentality. I'll never forget the time when some of the brass decided to have the condom machines removed on the grounds that most of our agents are in their teens.

It was one of the few times that Agent Murphy has proved capable of constructive work. We showed them the hygene films while Agent Murphy talked about the symptoms of Drokken Pox and The Mimsies.

I have a psychology degree, but many do confuse that with psychiatry so I ... it seemed appropriate to wear rather a severe hairstyle and to question them about their own early sexual experiences while the films were running.

We still have our original fittings and I've heard that one of the beaurocrats has entered therapy. I wonder if that was the man who started to call me, "Mommy."?

The odd thing is that his wife sent me a box of chocolates. I gave them to Murphy. He had earned his keep for once but that is so unusual that if the chocolates weren't quite as specified it seemed to be a win/win situation.
margaret_walsh: (Default)
I have been running tests on the little creatures that Gates found in the aptly named Fish Tank" bar.

As far as I can ascertain they are like nothing known to mundane science and I am tempted to dub them Cthulhu Gatesii. That might be considered too whimsical but, although I had never thought of the oceanic "big bads" as likely to become parents, I suppose that they do reproduce.

If it had occurred to me earlier I think I would have imagined the Cthulhu as broadcast spawners, or just possibly monogamous mated pairs. The HSTs that Gates had obtained were very small, but they did show some signs of borderline sentinience.

They may well be very young. They show distress if left in silence so we placed them in a small tank in the kitchen, where the sounds of running water seemed to comfort them. I wonder if they could adapt to fresh water?
margaret_walsh: (Default)
Subject: [Gab] New Drugs for Women

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST.M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. BR>
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on an yone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.


Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who can handle it.
margaret_walsh: (Default)
Informationi
Professor Walsh is a restricted area. Authorised personel only

Username:


From Go-Quiz.com
margaret_walsh: (adam mommie issues)
The redder of the two water-beasts actually seems to know humans apart. It dislikes men and shows a marked preference for the female voice.
margaret_walsh: (Default)
The creatures adapt quite well to HST mix 6 0-neg kibble, provided that it is well-soaked. As Agent Quill pointed out, they may not have teeth but they have a very powerful suck. His fingernail should grow back in due course. There was no discernable trace of toxin but we have him in quaranine.

They are really quite interesting and very graceful when in motion. The face tentacles waver when the trunk is at rest, but move only with the motion of the body when swimming. They come up to the glass and mouth at it when a human is near, very like goldfish.
margaret_walsh: (nights like this)
Agent Gates made a fascinating find down by the Fish Tank Bar. A youth had two small creatures that looked very like the illustrations of Lovecraft's Cthulhu!

They were like nothing known to mundane science and, although I had never thought of the oceanic "big bads" as likely to become parents i suppose that they do reproduce.

If it had occurred to me earlier I think I would have imagined the Cthulhu as broadcast spawners, or just possibly monogamous mated pairs. The HSTs that Gates had obtained were very small, but they did show some signs of borderline sentinience.

They may be very young. They show distress if left in silence so we placed them in a small tank in the kitchen, where the sounds of running water seemed to comfort them. I wonder if they could adapt to fresh water?
margaret_walsh: (Default)
Your Inner Child Is Angry

You're not an angry person.
But when you don't get your way, watch out.
Like a very manipulative kid, you will get what you want.
Even if it takes a little kicking and screaming.
margaret_walsh: (Default)

margaret walsh was crowned as royalty

After taking over the world and declaring themselves Overlord
'What will your Headline be?' at QuizGalaxy.com

margaret_walsh: (Default)

RPG Superstar! RPG Superstar!

Award Banner

margaret_walsh: (Default)

I died in the Dungeon of Singindemonhq

I was killed in a damp fountain room by Russell Winters the cockatrice, whilst carrying...

the Axe of Singing, the Dagger of Potions Mixer, the Sceptre of Sunnyd Scooby, the Sceptre of Bohemiancachet, the Sceptre of Gumnut, the Amulet of Bvs, a Figurine of Mitten Press, the Crown of Chimaera Chosen, a Figurine of Faith Slays, the Dagger of Sunnydservices and 82 gold pieces.

Score: 178

Explore the Dungeon of Singindemonhq and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...


I should have remembered the characteristics of a cockatrice, of course. They are also supposed to be born of an egg laid by a cock chicken, that is, an egg laid by a rooster;  they are incubated by a snake in the warmth of a dunghill. They are probably motivated to attack by envy and embarrassment, unless their aggression is caused by being brought up in such a very disfunctional family.
margaret_walsh: (nights like this)
We have been investigating a rumor that the new Double-Meat Palace that has opened locally is serving demons. Our Agents have been investigating but we had the operation planned to aprehend the cliental if appropriate.

After a few days of what Agent Murphy insists in calling a "Steak-out" in written reports we had seen few signs of demon customers. Agent Gates then had the meat analysed, apparently on an intuative impulse.

It seems they were indeed serving demons. They were ranching Vrittle Demons in the sewers under the kitchens. Environmental Health have been informed.
margaret_walsh: (mommy issues - jess)
The restore from draft option is an excellent idea. I was offered this option on opening my journal and I clicked it from curiousity. It immediately restored an entry that I do not remember making - nor had I remembered the chocolates, until I re-read what follows.

I received an anonymous box of chocolates on February 14th, with a card saying that they were a token of someone's appreciation. I am psychologist, not a psychiatrist, and I am most certainly not a psychic, but I had a feeling of suspicion about the motives of the donor, whoever they were. (The writing was nothing like Agent Murphy's. I could read it quite clearly.)

Oddly enough Agent Riley Finn seemed to have obtained an identical box for the object of his infatuation. It was not particularly difficult to switch the boxes while he was instructing Gates on the areas to be patrolled during and after full moon. It would have been interesting to see what effect, if any, they might have had on the indestructible slayer... So far I have heard nothing.

I had expected Agent Finn to try to avoid duty on Valentines Day, but the roster is unchanged. I could not put my finger on what was bothering me until I realized that there are were very few social activities. The Bronze had a Valentines Day dance on the preceding Saturday but the Inn did not.

There is something - I can't put my finger on it, but it bothers me. Did something happen at that time?
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